As we get older, our attitudes toward sex often
change sharply, whether it’s because of our middle-aged bodies or
hormonal levels or several other issues. It can be an uncertain and even
discouraging time for both people in a relationship.
The good news, though is that most of these obstacles are mental. As experts from Harvard Medical School point out, “The brain is the body’s most important organ.” Better communication and even counseling can help you deal with these issues, but first you have to recognize them. That way, your sex life can get back to what it once was, or just maybe become even better.
Here, from Harvard Medical School experts, are the five factors that can scuttle your sex life:
Relationship issues
What happens outside the bedroom doesn’t often stay outside the bedroom. Tension and emotional distance can undermine a couple’s sex life. Conflicts having nothing to do with sex, like finances or child-raising issues, can be at the root of a sexual problem. And as people get older, caregiving issues can also become a factor. It works the other way, too, the Harvard experts say: a sexual issue can strain a couple’s ability to get along.
Performance anxiety
We’re most familiar with the male issue of erectile dysfunction, but women can suffer from it too. They may find orgasm harder to read. Sometimes, the Harvard experts say, these issues become so overwhelming that they cause people to stop having sex altogether. Performance anxiety becomes more common for both men and women as they move into their 50s.
Body image and self-esteem
A number of factors can make people shy about unhibited sex: childbirth, weight gain, thinning hair. Especially as people grow older, these feelings can get in the way of creative lovemaking, and can even act to block a person from offering or responding to sexual advances.
Expectations and past experiences
Your sexuality is a natural drive that’s with you from birth. But, the Harvard experts say, your family, culture, religious background, the media, and your peers shape your attitudes toward sex. These factors can a healthy enjoyment of sex for some people. But for others, it can cause conflict and ambivalence, and that doesn’t necessarily dissipaste with age.
Stress and lifestyle changes
Your sex drive can drop sharply when you’re affected by stress and fatigue. Stress can come from any number of sources — challenging adult children, financial worries, aging parents, health concerns, career woes, and more. An overload of competing demands may keep you and your partner from nurturing your relationship and affect not only your sex life but the quality of your relationship overall.
The good news, though is that most of these obstacles are mental. As experts from Harvard Medical School point out, “The brain is the body’s most important organ.” Better communication and even counseling can help you deal with these issues, but first you have to recognize them. That way, your sex life can get back to what it once was, or just maybe become even better.
Here, from Harvard Medical School experts, are the five factors that can scuttle your sex life:
Relationship issues
What happens outside the bedroom doesn’t often stay outside the bedroom. Tension and emotional distance can undermine a couple’s sex life. Conflicts having nothing to do with sex, like finances or child-raising issues, can be at the root of a sexual problem. And as people get older, caregiving issues can also become a factor. It works the other way, too, the Harvard experts say: a sexual issue can strain a couple’s ability to get along.
Performance anxiety
We’re most familiar with the male issue of erectile dysfunction, but women can suffer from it too. They may find orgasm harder to read. Sometimes, the Harvard experts say, these issues become so overwhelming that they cause people to stop having sex altogether. Performance anxiety becomes more common for both men and women as they move into their 50s.
Body image and self-esteem
A number of factors can make people shy about unhibited sex: childbirth, weight gain, thinning hair. Especially as people grow older, these feelings can get in the way of creative lovemaking, and can even act to block a person from offering or responding to sexual advances.
Expectations and past experiences
Your sexuality is a natural drive that’s with you from birth. But, the Harvard experts say, your family, culture, religious background, the media, and your peers shape your attitudes toward sex. These factors can a healthy enjoyment of sex for some people. But for others, it can cause conflict and ambivalence, and that doesn’t necessarily dissipaste with age.
Stress and lifestyle changes
Your sex drive can drop sharply when you’re affected by stress and fatigue. Stress can come from any number of sources — challenging adult children, financial worries, aging parents, health concerns, career woes, and more. An overload of competing demands may keep you and your partner from nurturing your relationship and affect not only your sex life but the quality of your relationship overall.
